Moving On with My Life

“What you are today is not the result of what happened to you, but rather it’s the result of what you decided to become after it happened to you.”

They say that experience is the best teacher and that there are two ways how to learn them, the easy way and the hard way. I learned mine through the later. I was already on my way of becoming the person everybody thought I would be, a successful nurse. They thought that I am miss-goody-toe-shoes, what they did not know is that I am a bit rebellious and very much confused. You see, I grew up in a world where people would just dictate me what to do. From the clothes I wear to the sports I am going to join. I did not know myself; I do not even know what exactly I want to do with my life. So when I took my major, I never really thought much about its implication.   Suffice to say is that I graduated in due time but just when I am about to ponder my wants and needs, I got myself pregnant. I was very disappointed in myself for failing everybody. I hated myself because I am about to become a mother, a mother who does not know herself. In the 9 months that I carried my baby with me, feeling every heartbeat and kick, I became more and more restless because I know deep in my heart, I am not ready. I do not know what to do at that very moment and my brain cannot function well. I felt like I was in the state of depression, blaming myself for what had happened. My friends would always encourage me to become strong for my baby and continue to live life to the fullest.

I know that every chapter in our life carries the promise of new beginning. And I do believe that my life right now is starting to reveal its new chapter. Things do not come up to my parent’s expectations for me and that was just the first chapter of my life and the new one is just about to unfold. To all my buddies who never turn their back on me, I want to thank all of them for being through good times and bad times and most especially for the love and support, they have shown to me. They were the ones who would always remind me that life does not stop from there. They were the reasons why even at the saddest part of my life, I still managed to smile, why even in betrayal I trust.   Encouraging me to just smile as the new chapter begins and looks up to new beginning. I have learned also that there are actually some desires, which are necessary to keep life in motion. I do not mind if people will judge me negatively, what’s important for me is that I have the strength to overcome all of these life’s challenges. I have come to realize that the adventure of life is to learn and its purpose is to grow. Let those tears flow in order to save other’s tears and give up wonderful things just to make everything alright.